Monday, 26 September 2011


One, Two, Three




I like my Dorothy Perkins colourful dresses. I like bright tights and plastic jewellery, too.

Best of all I like convincing Kayleigh to buy one two as well and going to parties as creepy awesome twins.

(Should have been red shoes, I know... 
There was a complicated tights situation that you just wouldn't understand.)

 Sunday Girl necklaces, naturally.

Miss you already, Ginger McDramaQueen.

Sunday, 18 September 2011


The ONLY worthwhile thing I've achieved today has been cleaning the messy polish off my nails.  Seriously.

For the past couple of weeks I've been sporting Models Own Juicy Jules, a mega-glittery shade that, let me tell you, goes down a STORM with the under-5s.  I think they think I'm some sort of fairy.  Anyway, it's pretty but a total beeyatch to remove. I'm pretty sure the main ingredient is Superglue.  There are two known ways to take off Juicy Jules; either by compulsively picking at it during moments of boredom or nervousness (one reason I needed it to disappear today - I've got an audition tonight and it wouldn't do to be scraping off the remains of my manicure during!) OR by the very useful method invented by Gem Fatale, which I am demonstrating below.

I think I resemble some sort of creepy alien from Dr Who that might make Kayleigh hide behind a cushion.  Without my make-up on I DO look a bit like a minotaur, it's true.

What you have to do is cut a small piece of cotton wool, dip it in nail varnish remover, attach it to your nail with a strip of kitchen foil (I used Sellotape, because money (or, for that matter, kitchen foil) doesn't grow on trees y'know), sit and wait for ten minutes, then un-tape and simply wipe away any remaining sparkles.  I daresay soaking your fingertips in nail varnish remover isn't very good for your health, but one has to make sacrifices for the sake of glamour, doesn't one?

*Sigh* I thought writing a toast post (about nail varnish remover of all things. How low have I sunk!) might count as achieving something today, but it clearly does not.  Ah well. 

Thursday, 15 September 2011

I Like Winning. Give Me Prizes.

I am often heard to complain that I haven't got a thing to wear.  This is obviously a lie, as my groaning, overstretched wardrobe with its multiple dresses per hanger will attest.  Nonetheless, I would greatly like to win lots and lots of new clothes from the rather swish online shop Zalando.  Zalando have asked bloggers to enter their competition by choosing items from the shop to style into a fantasy outfit.  Would you like to see my entry?

  1. Selected Femme Snake dress in turquoise: £59.95
To start with, I’ve (surprise, surprise) gone for a dress.  The colour of this one is beautiful – very summery, but I’ve decided to style it for autumn with…

  1. AirStep Oyster boots: £280
…knee-high boots.  I know, they’re a bit clunky for such a pretty, delicate dress, but I make my clothes work hard, and this dress would have to multi-task as nightwear AND daywear for me.  I love the colour combination of turquoise and chocolate, and I think they’ll work just fine with the dress.

  1.  Liu Jo blazer: £464.95
It’s chilly in Newcastle in the autumn, so I’ll need a jacket.  There’s something Grecian about the shape of the Snake dress, which I think is picked up perfectly in the woven belt of this tan blazer.

  1. Numero 10 Victoria Street handbag: £570
Since this is a daytime outfit, a big handbag is required to carry all of the stuff that a modern-day Grecian maiden needs at the weekend.  Chocolate-brown leather returns in this one – doesn’t it look soft?

  1. Black Lily Luella scarf: £59.95
I wanted some gold accessories to set off the brown and turquoise, but Zalando don’t have a great deal of jewellery on the site.  The gold print on this pretty scarf is actually birds, but when rolled up like this, it gives a vague impression of the strings of gold chains that our Greek Goddess would wear!

  1. s.Oliver belt: £23.95
This dress doesn’t really need a belt, but I couldn’t resist the metallic feather.  I’d probably contrive to wear it in my hair or something!

  1. Uslu Airlines nail polish in DRS: £16:95
It was the pretty turquoise colour that drew me to this dress in the first place, so I didn’t want it to get lost amongst all the brown.  I’d pick it up again on my fingernails with this nail polish.

So!  How do you like my Zalando ensemble?  If you would like to enter yourself, just pop over to the Zalando competition page and choose your clothes, then let them know when you've blogged about your creation.  Good luck!  (But please don't make a better outfit than me, because I want to win.  Ta!)

zalando fashion frenzy

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Boring Outfit Post. Yawn.

Morning, campers! (Two minutes to twelve as I type this, technically still morning!)  Stresstastic week, bookended by bouts of impressive drunkenness.  Good start to September!

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Your Position as a Topman is a Highly Exalted One

Thanks to a dear friend who can't be trusted to buy clothes by himself, on Sunday I found myself, for the first time, in Topman.  I detest Topshop for having ideas above its station, but didn't think the man version would be quite as up itself.

We didn't look around that much, but while Matt was in the changing room I did happen to spot something that I absolutely NEED in my life:

Awesome!  It reminds me of my fave Cath Kidston print (Which, annoyingly, you can't buy in a handbag format, because it's supposedly for little boys)

As much as Matt claims to trust my clothes-buying advice, I don't think he would be impressed if I insisted he buy this cowboy shirt and wear it at every social occasion, so I'm going to have to have it for myself.  I'm going to bookmark its place on the Topman website and stalk stalk stalk until it comes into the sale, and when it does I'm going to purchase it and I'm going to wear it knotted at the waist, with a denim skirt and my Cacophony Hicksville cowboy boots.

AND, whilst dressed in such a way, I'm going to hide in this tent with some spam, ginger beer and gobstoppers, and shoot Indians with a pop-gun.

Monday, 5 September 2011


This picture makes me terribly happy.

Thursday, 1 September 2011

"Life is one continual round of solicitations. It's like living in a masque at the opera!"

So, the accidental maternity one for Chinese with the tapdancers on Wednesday, the green one to take afternoon tea with Alice and watch narcissistic dvds with Kayleigh and the boys on Thursday, the floral one with the huge sleeves for Laura's party on Friday, either the tarty red and black one or the red lacy one for Sebastion's party on Saturday, and the purple one for breakfast with Ruth and co on Sunday...?  And soon it will be next week and this dilemma will happen all over again!


(Also have I mentioned I bloody love my friends?  And my life.)

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