MISS HAMER: What is it?
SMALL BOY: It's a stone.
MISS HAMER: ...lovely! Thank you!
Good afternoon, viewers!
Today I have been shopping. In the total absence of anything interesting to read on these pages, would you like to see pictures of my purchases?
Tacky-fantastic pin-up girl t-shirt from Primark. (Attention Primark employees - don't stick the size labels over that plasticky, iron-on transfer stuff!! I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to scrape that shite off - it's worse than the labels on the soles of shoes!)
Umbrella (I binned its totally broken predecessor on the drizzly walk into town), purse and hair flowers, all from Accessorize. Did you know Accessorize/Monsoon do a Boots-Advantage-card-esque rewards scheme now? I was very excited until I read the small print and found that you need to spend £250 to get a £10 reward voucher. Ah well, maybe by 2015 cheapskated me will have bought enough outlandish hair accessories to earn myself the price of a pair of earrings!
Make-up! More to the point, FREE make-up! Max Factor have an offer on - spend £15 and get a free gift. I was in need of some foundation, having got to the stage where you have to shake and scrunch the bottle until the last drops dribble out with a wheezing death gurgle (I've had a cold this week and have been trowelling on the slap to try and achieve a healthy pallor!), so I bought the 'Lasting Performance' stuff (in a shade slightly darker than usual because that's what the magazines tell you to do when it's high summer, and IT WILL BE SUMMER SOON OH YES YES IT WILL. To bump my total up to fifteen squid I bought a lipstick called 'Touch of Red', which is actually quite subtle and rosy. I like it. And then for freeeee I scored a make-up bag (actually quite a good one, with a detachable pocket and little holders for make-up brushes), a sachet of another foundation, which escaped the photo, a mascara, eyeshadow, lip gloss and nail varnish. Wahey! I also bought a cheaperiffic white nail varnish because I read about a technique for getting marbled nails that I'm interested to try. The pretty notebook and pen are going to be wrapped up and given as a birthday present tomorrow.
Well that was boring, wasn't it? I will atone by showing you some grafitti I saw round the back of Morrisons some weeks ago. I had to dig out the camera lead from my Random Shit Box to show you this, so I hope you appreciate it!