It's a good thing nylons aren't rationed these days.

COLLEAGUE #1: Elizabeth, you've got a ladder in your tights.
COLLEAGUE #2, overhearing on her way to the kettle:  Hah! Elizabeth's always got a ladder in her tights. They're more ladder than tight some days!
COLLEAGUE #3:  Ee, Elizabeth, I hope I get you in the Christmas bran tub.  I know just what you'd be getting!


The moral of the tale, friends, is don't buy your tights in Primark, for they are SHIT.