A Few Days of Summer

Hullo!

Bit quiet on Bette on Toast, innit?  So much so that people have actually been noticing, and enquiring why I haven't been uploading photographs of myself wearing clothes for their enjoyment.  One of the chief complainers, as always, has been my curly-haired, strange-accented Goldilocks, Alexa, so when she travelled up from the capital last weekend to visit, I roped her into service as a Boring Outfit Photographer.

 

Our first stop of the weekend was a picnic in the park, followed by a mini alfresco concert by my school choir.  Alexa took a lovely picture of me conducting the little mites, looking for all the world like somebody who knows about music, but it shan't be appearing on this blog, because I've done a child protection course, and one of the first things they teach you is don't put photos of the children in your care on The Internet. ;-)

 

This red dress is one of those amazingly versatile garments, that also always receives compliments from chums, colleagues and random passers-by.  Here is my younger, chubbier self, pictured with Alexa, wearing it at our Graduation Ball.

 

 

I seem to have started talking about dresses as usual, but I would really prefer for this blog to be more of a diary of my life than a shrine to Boring Outfit Posts.  So I will continue telling you about my splendid weekend.

 

After the park we built a wardrobe, and then got dressed up for the evening, and took some photos on my steps while waiting for the taxi.

 

 

You will note that the girls both look elegant and lovely, while I look like I'm dressed for pub golf.  This is because I was dressed for pub golf, being terribly busy and popular and having to be in two places at once that night.

 

 

 

So while Alice and Alexa sipped cocktails in Pleased To Meet You, my teacher friends and I drank alcopops and got thrown out of Wetherspoons for having too much fun with a plastic golf set.

 

 

On Sunday we went for our lunch at a hipster Ouseburn cafe.  I was a cowgirl that day, and cowgirls like yellow walls.

 

 

After a bit of shopping and some very rushed cake, Alice and I plonked Alexa on a train and went to our respective rehearsals.

 

I am curently having a similarly wonderful weekend this week, so maybe there will be another summery diary post coming up soon!

 

Cheerio x

 

 



Alnmouth

To stave off last week's post-show blues, I went to Alnwick with the mother.  We bought lots of fine things from charitable shops, and then went to the seaside at sunset.

 

Here I am all snuggly in my parka.

 

 

Dozy and reluctant to leave the comfort of my own pyjamas, I asked Mum what on earth I should wear.

 

"Start with sensible walking shoes, and work upwards from there", she replied.

 

 

Don't be ridiculous.

 

 

In the end I hoyed clothes at myself at random and was rather pleased with the result.

 

 

This photo's a bit unfortunate, but it shows what I liked about this look - the tiered skirt, thick tights and ankle boots made me feel like a naughty Victorian ruinning around in her bustle!

 

 

Also a bit like Peter Pan...

 

Mum proceeded to take some photographs withouit me in them, which I thought was a sorry waste, but other people seem to like Views, so here you go.

 

 

 

 



I could never curl my lip to a dazzling diamond clip

Today I went to the Grainger Market, to the cobbler (for new soles), to the watch-mender (for a watch battery) and to the haberdasher (for buttons).  Alice was delighted by the vintage nature of my shopping trip, and insisted I also go to the Weigh House to weigh myself and to the greengrocer to buy vegetables measured in pounds. (I didn't)

Anyway, the point of this story is that my old faithful Past Times watch was pronounced dead, so I came home and began to trawl eBay for a replacement.  (I'm ashamed to admit I had been trawling for at least half an hour before I realised the hilariousness of adding items to my 'watch list'...)  I found a few possibles (although I have been having terrible luck with online shopping lately!) but time and time again my eye was drawn to particularly lovely antique watches that all had two things in common - they all cost colossal numbers of pounds and they all featured the name of a certain Monsieur Cartier...

 

I'm not sure what it is about them that appeals to me, but I love them all!  I hope you enjoyed the chronograph picspam as much as I did, but now onto more sparkly matters.

 

A quick Google search gave me a little info about the Cartier brand, and I learned all about the iconic Cartier panther; originally designed in 1914, it became world-famous when it appeared on a series of jewels made for (who else?) Wallis Simpson.

 

 

 

The onyx-and-diamond creature broke world records when auctioned at Sotheby's in 2010 - at £4,521,250 it fetched the highest price of any bracelet ever!

 

 

Even though it reminds me of when my mum was a Cabouchon rep in the 1990s, I like the panther - it's like something Mrs Cheveley would wear.  Hers was a snake, but panthers are more glamorous.  Grrr.

 

 

 This brooch was also made for the Duchess.

 

The panther has been seen in numerous glittering forms since Wallis' time, and last year it turned its paw to the silver screen, appearing as the star of L'Odyssée de Cartier, an extravagant short film made to comemmorate the 165th anniversary of Maison Cartier.

 



 

Watch it, it's a little bit amazing!

 

Yours covetously,

Bette

x

Does This Count As Posting Underwear Shots On The Internet?

How To Dress For A School Trip To The Farm In December

As promised!  So, when your generally delightful job obliges you to miss out on your annual staff Christmas Dinner and spend the coldest, windiest day of December (so far) helping to shepherd 60 four-year-olds around various hearty outdoor activities on a stupidbloody FARM, well, sartorially speaking, you have two options.

Option 1:  Jeans and a hoodie

No thanks.

Option 2:  X-treme layering!

Here's how...

Step One!

Assemble the ingredients.

Step Two!

Woolly tights and a thermal vest.

(Optional Step 2.5: Over your tights, put on a pair of thermal socks made with possum fur.  I tried this, but had to re-evaluate my sock plans upon discovering that I physically couldn't fit my feet into my wellies!)

Step Three!

Add a long-sleeved top and a pair of thigh-high woolly socks

Step Four!

Woolly dress

Yes, you look a bit daft.  Don't worry, we'll be covering up the top half in Step Five.

Step Five!

Cashmere jumper

That's the inner and middle layers done.  Bring on the outer layers!

Step Six!

Hoodie, scarf and wellies

And finally...

Step Seven!

Coat, ginormous trapper hat, gorilla paw gloves

I must admit, I didn't bother with the gorilla gloves in the end.  Makaton signing is a bit of a bore when you can't move your fingers!

So there you have it.  Do you see why I weep a little when I see outfit posts from bloggers darn sarf whose concession to winter dressing is 40 denier tights and a pair of brogues?!

I was dreading my trip to the farm, but I actually had a brilliant time.  We re-enacted the Nativity in a stable made of straw, sang Little Donkey to an actual donkey, held a snake and tarantula, saw Santa and one rather unimpressive reindeer and fed some llamas. 

I was hoping that my ridiculous hat would persuade the reindeer to adopt me as their leader and/or prevent them getting any ideas about eating me.  It was an impulse/panic purchase when I saw the weather forecast for Farm Day, but it's earning its keep already.  Walking home from rehearsal last night in the fierce winds I struggled to keep my eyelids from drooping - the thing is like a duvet for your head!  It has a manly chin strap rather than pom poms because it's a man hat from the man section of H&M (£9.99 - the almost-identical lady version was £12.99. Hmm.)

Vest, top, dress and belt - Primark

Tights - M&S

Socks - Topshop

Jumper - Tesco via charity shop

Hoodie - NUGSS  (No, you can't buy one for yourself, they're exclusive ;op)

Wellies - Amazon

Coat - Oasis

Hat - H&M

Scarf - a present

Gloves (which are not actually made from real gorilla paws, despite what I like to tell people) - vintage

Ginger and Bette's day out

A few weeks ago, @DitaVonTeese posted a twitpic of something called the Silver Swan, and I thought "Ooh, how pretty", assumed it resided in Paris or LA or one of the other exotic locations Dita hangs out, and thought nothing more of it.

THEN, a girl I vaguely know, who lives in the general Newcastle area, re-tweeted Dita, saying something about being taken to see the swan all her life.  "Huh?" thought I, "That swan thing lives in England?  In the North East?  Then I must go there!"  I clicked the link and learned that the 17th century lifesize automaton is housed in the Bowes Museum in County Durham, just a short journey from where I live.

THEN, I stumbled across a post by Pink Bow, a North-East blogger whose amazing style I very much admire, about her trip to see an exhibition of Vivienne Westwood shoes - at the Bowes Museum.

THEN I had a random Monday off work, and THEN my friend Kayleigh got fired for having dodgy wisdom teeth, and THAT is how I came to take a road trip to the Bowes Museum yesterday.

The museum is GORGEOUS, but Kayleigh and I were actually a little underwhelmed by the exhibits, for which we had paid nine whole pounds AND been heavily hinted towards a donations box upon our exit.  A lot of the everyday exhibits were packed up while the rooms were being repainted, or were back on display, still partially wrapped up.  As for the Vivienne Westwood shoes, they were quite astounding, but the exhibition seemed kind of unfinished - the shoes seemed to have been hastily pushed into a room already half-filled with the textiles exhibits, some of the display cases were only half-full, and some information (other than the short biography of VW) about Westwood's collections and inspirations and the evolution of the brand would have been nice.

I really liked the swan -  I was surprised by how fast its silver neck moved, all jerky and violent like a real swan, and the creepy, twinkly music that played while it dove for, caught and gobbled up its silver fish gave it that sinister magical realism that I spent a joyous dissertation-season obsessing over! (Oh Freud, you and your theories of the uncanny and the unheimlich...!)  I did think that it had been bigged-up a little too much, though- the extent of the "Come and see our silver swan!" publicity didn't do the actual swan any favours.

Kayleigh and I, having exhausted our capacity for looking at antiquities within half an hour, were also disappointed with the museum's facilities for children.  How are we supposed to colour in an ancient Roman plate when the pencils are all blunt and you don't provide a rubber?!  Or, for that matter, how are we to play the amazing-looking 3D snakes and ladders game in the shape of the actual museum, without counters or a dice?

HOWEVERRR, the day was not a complete wash-out, because we indulged in what is definitely my completely absolute all-time favourite activity, behaving like a loony and posing for silly pictures at local places of interest.  Since I was geektastic and spent yesterday evening organising my shambolic My Pictures folder by event, then month, then year (way to end a holiday in style, Hamer), here are some of my favourite silly memories, featuring some of my favourite silly people.

To start with, here's Simon in Stratford-upon-Avon, imitating some of Shakespeare's best-loved characters:

Above; as Falstaff and Lady MacScottishPlay.  Below, as Hamlet, with Hannah as the skull.

Stephanie and I as very serious sentries at Tivoli Gardens, Copenhagen:

Me trying to push Hannah into the Serpentine...

...and as a pair of pixies in the shrubbery:

Hannah is the best person to take silly pictures with.  Here we are having fun in the children's playground:

Children have the most fun in museums.  Stephanie and I loved the secret mouse hole at the Hancock.

Ruth, Alice, Matt and me on the steps of the cathedral in Liverpool:

Impersonating Billy Fury, also Liverpool:

Me making friends with a lion doorstop at Kensington Palace:

Me having a bath at Beamish:

And here's some more from the Bowes Museum:

Kayleigh working hard on her loom.

 * P.S. First two pictures courtesy of the Bowes Museum website, and by "courtesy of", I mean that I Prnt Scrn-ed and stole them, but I will take them down if they ask me to.