As promised! So, when your generally delightful job obliges you to miss out on your annual staff Christmas Dinner and spend the coldest, windiest day of December (so far) helping to shepherd 60 four-year-olds around various hearty outdoor activities on a stupidbloody FARM, well, sartorially speaking, you have two options.
Option 1: Jeans and a hoodie
Option 2: X-treme layering!
Assemble the ingredients.
Woolly tights and a thermal vest.
(Optional Step 2.5: Over your tights, put on a pair of thermal socks made with possum fur. I tried this, but had to re-evaluate my sock plans upon discovering that I physically couldn't fit my feet into my wellies!)
Add a long-sleeved top and a pair of thigh-high woolly socks
Yes, you look a bit daft. Don't worry, we'll be covering up the top half in Step Five.
That's the inner and middle layers done. Bring on the outer layers!
Hoodie, scarf and wellies
Coat, ginormous trapper hat, gorilla paw gloves
I must admit, I didn't bother with the gorilla gloves in the end. Makaton signing is a bit of a bore when you can't move your fingers!
So there you have it. Do you see why I weep a little when I see outfit posts from bloggers darn sarf whose concession to winter dressing is 40 denier tights and a pair of brogues?!
I was dreading my trip to the farm, but I actually had a brilliant time. We re-enacted the Nativity in a stable made of straw, sang Little Donkey to an actual donkey, held a snake and tarantula, saw Santa and one rather unimpressive reindeer and fed some llamas.
I was hoping that my ridiculous hat would persuade the reindeer to adopt me as their leader and/or prevent them getting any ideas about eating me. It was an impulse/panic purchase when I saw the weather forecast for Farm Day, but it's earning its keep already. Walking home from rehearsal last night in the fierce winds I struggled to keep my eyelids from drooping - the thing is like a duvet for your head! It has a manly chin strap rather than pom poms because it's a man hat from the man section of H&M (£9.99 - the almost-identical lady version was £12.99. Hmm.)
Vest, top, dress and belt - Primark
Tights - M&S
Socks - Topshop
Jumper - Tesco via charity shop
Hoodie - NUGSS (No, you can't buy one for yourself, they're exclusive ;op)
Wellies - Amazon
Coat - Oasis
Hat - H&M
Scarf - a present
Gloves (which are not actually made from real gorilla paws, despite what I like to tell people) - vintage